One of the hardest things people have to do in life is bring up the next generation. You frequently hear that children aren't born with a handbook. It is common for people to make mistakes as they bring up their children, and hopefully most people learn lessons along the way and do better as time goes on. Here I hope to illuminate areas that can influence a child's health and wellbeing that may not all be what people immediately focus on, or are aware of. I have tried to avoid focusing on what most people already know, like the effects of what a parent is teaching a child through the natural modelling that goes on as the child grows up learning from those around them. I have also tried to point a light on some areas where 'genetic' changes are actually changes that were avoidable or are reversible. Over the years I have frequently heard parents say 'I want them diagnosed'. They want to find out what is wrong, have a diagnosis of ADHD or Autism/Aspergers and hope that this will solve everything. Often I can see areas where improvement can be made and where behaviours or 'problems' are coming from, yet the parents will still be focusing on wanting a diagnosis rather than making changes that will help the child. They often don't realise that some of the problems they are having are because of their lifestyles, either now or in the past, or of the way they treat the child, like how they parent the child and what diet and exercise they give the child. I have avoided talking about attachment theory and the impact of poor attachment, or different attachment styles, because they are often covered. I want the reader to learn something, or read something new that perhaps they haven't thought about or read before.
Here are three areas which can influence your child's current and future health and wellbeing:
1. Nurturing
It may seem like common sense that children need to be nurtured, they need to be hugged, they need close loving contact from a parent or care giver. The effects of not doing this run deeper than just having a child that feels unloved and perhaps has attachment issues when they grow up, or grows up unsure how to show love and affection. A neglectful parent that doesn't frequently hug their child and show love to their child is actually causing epigenetic changes to that child's genome.
Epigenetics is about the turning on or off of different genes, so the genes aren't mutated or physically changed, but they act differently.
If a child is bought up in a low nurturing environment they may well be more likely to grow up sexually outgoing, and perhaps getting into intimate relationships at an earlier age, whereas a child bought up in a high nurturing environment is more likely to grow up to be more modest, and likely to take relationships slower.
A child bought up in a low nurturing environment is more likely to have a lower stress threshold, it would be like they have been primed to expect that the World is a scary and dangerous place, so they may well end up getting angry or anxious about things much quicker than those around them, they may be short-tempered and abrupt with others, or seem to always be nervous and worrying about everything.
If they don't learn how to manage this and they go on to have children they will pass on this tendency to have a low tolerance to stressful events to their children, and they will then have to work extra hard to undo this by getting the nurturing as right as possible with their children despite the fact that their children are likely to be more challenging than expected to manage.
Growing up in a low nurture environment leads to epigenetic changes in females brains that reduce estrogen and so can lead to those females being less attentive and nurturing to their children, which can then continue the cycle. The individual has to grow up and learn a nurturing way of being if they want to break the cycle, but they are likely to find it feels like it doesn't come so naturally to them because they are going against a way of parenting that was instilled in them by the way they were parented.
Low nurture environments, or childhoods full of stress, shouting, aggression, bullying or authoritarian parenting, with very little hugging, and close loving contact and interactions can lead to adults more prone to depression and anxiety disorders, obsessive behaviours, more fears and phobias and being more socially awkward, they are more likely to suffer with illnesses including high blood pressure, heart problems, stress related and low immune system related illnesses and cancer, and generally lead shorter lives.
What the child chooses to do as they grow up can reverse the effects of a low nurture environment in childhood, but they will have to have the mind-set that encourages them to actively make those changes, like learning about appropriate relationships, learning how to express love appropriately, learning healthy thinking styles and developing a positive self image and positive beliefs. They will also have to learn how to manage stress and how to relax in healthy ways.
2. Diet
There are two components to the diet issue. One is the parents diet before the child is born, the other is the diet of the child.
Starting with the diet of the parent. Fathers that eat foods high is fat or sugar, or that have eaten excessively and are overweight create epigenetic changes within themselves relating to this high fat/high sugar diet. These epigenetic changes are expressed throughout the body, so as the man's body creates sperm this sperm carries the DNA with the encoded epigenetic changes. This is how the diet of the father passes to their child. For mothers it is a little different. Because the mothers eggs have existed for a long period of time it seems that they carry the DNA as it was at the time they were created. So dietary influences in women would precede the creation of the eggs. Where the mothers current diet influences the child is during pregnancy. If the mother is eating high sugar/high fat foods during pregnancy, or making other unhealthy dietary choices this is the time that those choices will influence the epigenetic changes on the DNA within the unborn child. If the mother is overweight or unhealthy this will also have the effect of creating unhealthy changes within the unborn child. Children born to parents that have had poor diets may well suffer with asthma, cardiovascular disease, be more prone to obesity and more likely to develop diabetes, even if they eat healthy and normal sized meals. The children will also be more likely to die significantly younger than the average life expectancy. So the children will have to grow up doing more to be healthy and overcome these 'handed down' effects than children who grew up with healthy parents. Some of the effects of poor parental diet can be undone if the mother breastfeeds. Regardless of the parents diet, breastfeeding can reduce and undo some of the negative epigenetic effects, and if the mother has a good diet then the positive 'undoing' effect is even greater, the child is then at a reduced risk of obesity and related health risks.
For the children, if they are eating a diet of high fat/high sugar this is likely to impact on the development of their brain, they may well grow up more inclined to 'crave' these foods and use these foods as emotional crutches during times of stress or difficulties. Poor diet through childhood can lead to cells growing abnormally and can increase the chances of cancers developing, they can develop obesity, chronic illness, depression, low self-esteem, less able to focus their attention and more likely to exhibit behavioural problems, less physically and mentally active, high blood-pressure, cholesterol and increased risk of stroke, and more likely to have unhealthy eating habits. They will also be passing on epigenetic changes and health risks to their children and grandchildren. To undo a childhood of eating unhealthy the child will need to grow up exercising and eating healthy and doing activities that relax them and help them regulate their mood so that they reduce as many of the negative effects as possible. If they can keep this up then they may not pass on so many negative effects. Unfortunately this is unlikely to remove all negative effects because research has found that fathers that have been eating unhealthy high-fat/high-sugar diets before the age of 11 pass on negative changes leading to obesity to their offspring.
3. Your Baggage
Many of the examples above show how the parents upbringing and life experiences and life choices can create epigenetic changes which can then be passed on. If the parent had a rough childhood which was stressful, or a childhood in poverty, perhaps a shortage of food, then this can pass on to their children giving their children health risks and perhaps they will be more likely to display poor behaviour or struggle with concentration. If the parent experiences stressful life experiences and doesn't address these experiences and 'deal' with them then they may mentally revisit these experiences giving themselves stress regularly which can create negative epigenetic changes.
If the parent takes drugs, smokes, eats unhealthy, or drinks alcohol all of these can create epigenetic changes which can be passed on effecting the child. If mothers during the second or third trimester before birth experience any high stress events, especially events that can cause trauma or fear this can lead to a child being born with a low tolerance to stress, so they will seem to perceive the world as a dangerous place and struggle with stress and perhaps cry more than normal, or get angry more than normal. Parents with unresolved emotional baggage or parents feeling 'trapped' in a situation so they feel stress on a daily basis can have this lead to changes which impact on the development of the child.
Parents ignoring their child because they are going through a difficult time, or because they are depressed (for example if a parent has post natal depression) can then find they don't parent as nurturing as they need to be, or they display anxiety or negative emotions around the child which can then create epigenetic changes, as well as the 'learnt behaviour' of how to handle situations which can impact on the child's future.
To address this issue the parents should address their own baggage. If someone is thinking of becoming a parent, to give the child the best opportunity and best start in life it is useful to get any issues resolved, visit a counsellor if needed, or find someone that you can work through any historic issues with. If you are a 'nervous' person, or if you are an 'aggressive' person, or any other negative extreme emotion then getting this addressed is useful. If you spend all of your time worrying, then the child will be likely to be born with a propensity to worry. They will then be hit with the second blade of the sword, because they will also grow up in an environment of 'worrying' and so will be learning that this is how you behave and handle situations. Children learn by copying those around them, and they learn very effectively, even the subtle aspects of human behaviour. So not only do they learn to speak an entire language, and learn what accent to use to speak that language, and learn how to walk despite the fact that their body is a different size and slightly different shape everyday, but they also learn how to handle conflict, how to deal with change, with disappointment, with the unknown, etc...
To address unhealthy lifestyle baggage, it is best to get healthy and get into shape before having a child. You may not be able to undo all changes you will pass on, but hopefully you will be able to pass on better changes than if you remained unhealthy. In many cases stopping 'once you find out you are pregnant' will have some positive effects, like smoking or drinking during pregnancy isn't advisable. But there will be many changes you will pass on simply because you left it too late before stopping. If you have developed healthy lifestyle changes before having a child you are more likely to bring the child up encouraging them to be healthy, so any epigenetic changes passed on that are unhealthy, perhaps from when you were younger, before you started getting healthy, you will be teaching your child the skills to undo as much of this in their lifetime as possible so that the generational cycle gets broken.
The most important thing for parents to learn is how to relax, how to keep stress to a minimum. This one thing before conception, during pregnancy, and during the child's childhood is what will have the biggest impact on that child's health and wellbeing. The other thing is diet and exercise for the parent and the child, making sure the child gets plenty of outdoor exercise and eats a healthy and balanced diet that is low in fat and sugar. Parents should keep shouting or aggressive acts to a minimum, there are very few occasions a parent is likely to need to shout, and never any occasions a parent should need to hit a child.
To learn more some useful reading includes:
Epigenetics: How Environment Shapes Our Genes by Richard C. Francis
Your Happy Genes: Tripping Your Inner Switches for Pleasure, Success & Relaxation by Dawson Church
The Epigenetics Revolution: How Modern Biology is Rewriting Our Understanding of Genetics, Disease and Inheritance by Nessa Carey
Genie in Your Genes by Dawson Church
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